Dear Ultimate Abbey, How do I introduce my children to lesbian and gay friends?

Dear Parent, I appreciate your concern for your child’s sensitivity and innocence. Depending on how long you have known your friend(s) this can look differently. If you have known your friend for a while, chances

Dear Parent, I appreciate your concern for your child’s sensitivity and innocence.

Depending on how long you have known your friend(s) this can look differently. If you have known your friend for a while, chances are your child already knows they are a friend; however, may not be aware of their sexual preference… Your son or daughter does not need to know about their sexual preference until your child specifically asks you about it. And even then, what you tell them will depend on the age of your child.

I will add more to that with a personal story in just a moment.

As a mom of two boys, introducing my children to my lesbian friends was never even a question. I did not introduce them like this, “Hey kids here is Sally my lesbian friend”. The two women were just known as my friends. How did it come to light that my friends were lesbian?

After a pumpkin carving party at my friends’ home, my nine-year-old (at the time) son says to me, “Mom, do Sally and Rebecca live together?” I respond, “yes“.

Side note, there is something to learn about parenting at this moment. Only answer the question that is asked.

As more time went on more questions came about. A few months later. “Mom, are Sally and Rebecca married?“ Me, “Yes“.

As more time went on my older son put the pieces together on his own. He feels very comfortable in their home. Sally and Rebecca throw picnics and parties, have campfires, roast marshmallows, and play games with my children. Sally has always thanked me and appreciated the fact, it has never been weird. I have always welcomed them into my home and allowed my children to be in their home.

My response to my friend(s), I appreciate YOU opening your arms to my children. There was never a doubt in my mind I wanted to hold my children from a relationship with Sally or Rebecca.

If you are friends with gay or lesbian couples, love them unconditionally. Loving them unconditionally or your friends unconditionally means that they should be part of not just your life and your spouse’s life but  ALSO your children. That’s what true friends are. This is a growing world with lots to worry about but your children meeting your friends should not be something to worry about.

Sincerely,

Ultimate Abbey


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