Dear Ultimate Abbey, After being married for so many years, is it uncommon to no longer enjoy sex with your spouse?

Dear Married, No matter how long you have been married you should not just enjoy sex but be able to have an orgasm. This is why every marriage still needs oral sex and foreplay. I

Dear Married, No matter how long you have been married you should not just enjoy sex but be able to have an orgasm. This is why every marriage still needs oral sex and foreplay. I know that sentence is pretty forward; however, it is based upon my own experience and education. 

That’s right! I am not afraid to talk about sex. Or how to have good sex. Go back to when you first met your husband. Did you have great sex then? I am going to assume the answer is yes….because you state in your question “no longer“ & “after being married for so many years”. 

If you once had great sex, there is good news, you can get great sex back.

Since I cannot give you an entire sex therapy lesson this will have to be fairly shorter. But this is a great start to this topic.

I am sure I will be receiving more questions now that you have opened the door for this topic.

In your mind return to your early days with your husband either in your dating phase, engagement phase or beginning of marriage. Whenever sex was the best. What did you do then that you don’t do now or what didn’t you do then that you do now( worry about time, kids, being tired, etc.). In the past if every session of great sex began with oral sex and foreplay then every session of sex needs to start with oral sex and foreplay just like it used to. 

We tend to say we don’t have time, we need to make it quick, etc. Lives change, lifestyle changes, there are kids involved, there are more important things to worry about. Right?! The TRUTH is sex is a very important part of a marriage.

Think about what it is that made sex great in the past. Once you return to the time of great sex, I guarantee, you will get your sex life back! Spoiler alert ….However, this does not happen right away it takes time to get back into the groove of things. It may even feel awkward at first or forced. Obviously, you don’t want to do anything that you are uncomfortable with. But this is your husband we are referring to! If you gave him a blowjob 20 years ago you should be able to give him a blowjob now.

If you do not have time for sex, find time. If you are too tired, suck it up a few times you might actually enjoy it more than sleeping. LOL After you get in your new sexual routine with your husband, you will actually have more energy, feel sexier, greater self confidence, and you are actually more attractive to the opposite sex. 

Good luck, go get lucky !

Sincerely,

Ultimate Abbey 

PSST You can always spice things up with a little something wink wink I really do have the same one LOL NO joke. Little but gets the job done : )

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