Dear Ultimate Abbey, 2 to 3 times a week I meet my friend at the gym after work for an hour. However, the last few weeks one time a week we have not worked out. We sit in the sauna and just spend time venting to each other. This has not been good for my workouts but really good for my girlfriend and I to manage stress. I have been more patient at home with kids and my husband. BUT why do I feel so guilty?

Dear Guilty, The fact that you put time aside for yourself and you have a friend to hold you accountable is wonderful! What a good friend to meet you and confide in a few times

Dear Guilty, The fact that you put time aside for yourself and you have a friend to hold you accountable is wonderful! What a good friend to meet you and confide in a few times a week.

You need to think about what exactly is making you feel guilty? There is nothing wrong with what you are doing. In fact, if your family has seen the benefits this is even more of a reason to keep doing what you are doing. Maybe you need to add a day so you are not feeling guilty about missing a workout? For example, 3 days to work out and 1 day to vent. If your schedule allows.

Once you find the source of your guilt, things will get better.

The guilt you speak of, you need to define it and put it in it’s place!

After you find your guilt you probably need to share it with someone; your trusted workout girlfriend, your husband, etc. If you are not missing out on your kids extracurricular activities, your kids are fed, kids are supervised and everyone is accounted for… GIRL this is YOU time and it is necessary.

You should not feel shame about your one hour a day to yourself. Maybe if you cannot meet 4 days a week you can explore working out one morning? Then you have that flexible venting session one evening. For self-care exercising 30 minutes every day is ideal. If you only have 3 to 4 days for your fitness its is wise to extend 30 minutes closer to one hour.

Go with what feels good and right!

I always like to recommend a good book. If guilt has resurfaced over and over again. Check this book out!

Sincerely,

Ultimate Abbey


37 thoughts on “Dear Ultimate Abbey, 2 to 3 times a week I meet my friend at the gym after work for an hour. However, the last few weeks one time a week we have not worked out. We sit in the sauna and just spend time venting to each other. This has not been good for my workouts but really good for my girlfriend and I to manage stress. I have been more patient at home with kids and my husband. BUT why do I feel so guilty?

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